


Strangeitude

by candypinksocks



Category: Franklin & Bash
Genre: M/M, Tentacles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-18
Updated: 2012-10-18
Packaged: 2017-11-16 13:47:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/540100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/candypinksocks/pseuds/candypinksocks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Later, Peter will tell anyone who asks that he was brave and manly and did not, in fact, pass out the second Jared pushed the comforter back and stood up (if stood is what Jared did). Jared will tell the same anyone that Peter took one look and his knees buckled under him and had it not been for Jared's, well, <i>tentacles</i>, Peter would've landed on his ass in seconds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Strangeitude

**Author's Note:**

> For the kink meme prompt -
> 
>  _Peter/Jared, tentacles kink_  
>  I don't care if one of them has it and the other catches him indulging, or if someone brings a strange plant as evidence and things go weird when they're examining it.  
> Or whatever else you can think of.  
> And not too crack-y/angsty.
> 
> Bonus for Jared/tentacles with Peter getting very, very turned on.
> 
> Title from the Ozric Tentacles album of the same name.

"Jared! Come on, we're gonna be late!" Peter bangs on the door harder, steps up close enough to get his ear to the wood. He hears a groan and the bed squeak. 

"Seriously? Can't you two leave it for _one_ morning?" He's answered with another loud groan and that's it. If Jared and Emily want to fuck around when they should be heading to the office then Jared and Emily can get themselves to the damn office.

Peter grabs a travel mug of coffee and a granola bar from Pindar's secret stash and doesn't look back, just slams the front door behind him and does not in any way at all think about just what Jared might be doing when he should be in the car with Peter, bitching about the traffic.

Jared doesn't make it into the office at all that day, doesn't answer any of Peter's fifteen phone calls or thirty-five text messages either. Ordinarily, Peter would be in the car and through the front door to drag Jared's more-than-likely naked ass out of his room and into the shower, have coffee and a bunch of reasons why he’s an asshole waiting for him when he got out. Not today, today he has Infeld on his back and a case that's kicking his ass.

So Peter drinks too much coffee, digs through files for precedent and picks at his lunch. He catches a break at four thirty-seven pm, shouts, "Dude, I got it!" at the empty desk across the room before he thinks not to and gets more pissed at himself for forgetting.

 _'You're a fucking asshole, you know that right?'_ Text thirty-six and he's not expecting a reply, but it still hurts when he doesn't get one.

It's close to midnight when Peter gets home, dead on his feet, a carton of near-cold Pad Thai tucked under his arm along with a six-pack of some new microbrew he found at the market on the corner. 

"Hey, asswipe!" There's silence even after he kicks the door shut behind him. 

Peter throws his keys into the dish on the table by the front door, dumps the beer and the Pad Thai on the counter on his way through the house. He's angry and pissed off at everything and mostly Jared. He's had a shitty day and no-one to bounce it off of.

He thinks about just heading to bed, takes a left instead and stands outside Jared's door, ear pressed up close again. He can't hear anything, feels just a little creepy for listening in, even when he's justified dammit, and is about to turn around and head for bed when he hears what his brain is telling him is a blood curdling scream.

Except it can't be a blood curdling scream because this isn't one of those late-night cheesy horror flicks he and Jared fall asleep to, only to be startled awake by said blood curdling scream. But there it is again, followed by what Peter can best describe as a strangled whimper and seriously what kind of kinky shit is Emily into to?

He doesn't bother banging on the door this time, just kicks it right in, the frame shattering to send wood all over and he'd be proud of his bad ass Jet Li if Jared didn't look like his comforter was trying to eat him.

"Jared!" Peter's over by the bed in seconds and there's a not-so-small part of his brain that seems to be wired on too much coffee and not enough food because he's seeing the comforter fucking _move_ \- he's seen Jared naked and he's not _that_ big…

"What. The. Fuck?" It does it again and this time Jared's eyes shoot open to stare right at Peter and Peter never wants to see that much pain on Jared's face ever again.

"Hey buddy, it's me, it's okay, tell me what's wrong?" Peter reaches out to pull the sheets away from Jared's body.

"No! Don't, you - just don't come any closer okay?" It's barely more than a whimper and Jared's got his hands out from under the sheets and pulling them tighter which just makes it more obvious that there's something writhing under there. Emily never really struck him as that bendy.

"Is that - what's going on?" Peter's inching closer, figures he can get the sheet whipped off real quick, even if it's just to see how badly Jared's hurt.

"You can't - I can't, Peter - it's -" Jared groans again, his back arching off the bed high enough to make Peter wince and then he's falling back with a thud, fresh sweat breaking out on his lip and around his hairline. "It's almost - just wait, okay? Please?"

Peter can't do anything but nod, he's got his hands balled up so tight he's going to have bruises in his palms tomorrow, perfect little crescents he'll dig at over and over just to remind himself that Stanton hadn't given him the 'herbal' tea earlier. 

The next five minutes seem like forever, Peter's hands numb now and his eyes sore from not blinking 'til he absolutely has to and still not quite believing his eyes. It's like Jared's got a hundred snakes in his bed, and not just grass snakes either, big motherfucking boa-type snakes, except instead of hissing, Peter swears he's hearing a wet squelching noise and that brings up a really fucking unpleasant mental image he's not getting rid of without more vodka than any sane man should drink in one night.

He blinks and shakes his head and almost misses that it's stopped, that Jared's not moaning anymore and that he looks kind of okay for a guy that looked like he was getting swallowed and digested whole by a snake the size of something really big.

"Think it's done." Jared looks at Peter and then down at himself before he lifts the sheet and comforter up and takes a peek. "Oh yeah, it's done."

*

Later, Peter will tell anyone who asks that he was brave and manly and did not, in fact, pass out the second Jared pushed the comforter back and stood up (if stood is what Jared did). Jared will tell the same anyone that Peter took one look and his knees buckled under him and had it not been for Jared's, well, _tentacles_ , Peter would've landed on his ass in seconds. 

Right now though, Peter's all wrapped up in _holyfuckingshittentacles_ and not on his ass. He might need a minute or ten to get his head 'round this.

"I'm gonna need a minute."

"Dude, I've had all fucking day and I'm still at 'holy shit there are tentacles'! So, you know, take your time."

Peter chances a look up and it's still Jared, it's just that there are extra bits and he takes a minute to lean back a little to get a good look. And then it hits him. Jared's not even a little bit freaked out.

"You're too calm. Why are so calm?" Peter's pushing to get the tentacles off him and backing away now, feet skidding on the carpet and his hands scrabbling to get him back a little faster. "Who are you and what have you done with Jared?"

Jared holds up his hands and his _tentacles_ and Peter's never gonna be able to even think that, let alone say it, without his brain saying 'what the fuck'. "It's me, you gotta believe me, it's really me."

The tentacle coming out of Jared's left side curls up and then down again, almost looks like it's fucking shrugging. The other three rest limp at his sides to curl on the floor. They look kinda sad. And Peter's definitely going to need booze if he's starting to feel sorry for tentacles.

"Apparently when you have sex with a senior partner's assistant from another office there's a little clause." All four tentacles writhe up and out to their full length before curling up again to wrap around Jared's body; two 'round his chest and waist the other two snaking down to cover his legs. "Started about an hour after we, you know." And Jared's actually blushing, and Peter's never seen Jared blush about sex before and he's heard the one about Sarah Thomas and the peanut butter. "She said she thought we'd gotten away with it after nothing happened the first couple times, so didn't bother mentioning it 'til after I started sprouting."

"This morning?" And now Peter feels like shit for assuming Jared and Emily were just fucking. Although sprouting tentacles really isn't an alternative Peter would come up with in his wildest dreams. "Did it hurt? Sounded like it hurt."

"Like a motherfucker and then it didn't, just kinda weird, you know? Like getting teeth pulled under Novocain. And then it was just uncomfortable." All of Jared shrugs this time.

Peter knows he's staring, open mouthed and stupid. He can't help it and no one's gonna think any less of him for it and especially not Jared. And not just because Jared's the one with the fucking tentacles.

"So -" Peter gets up slowly, keeps his back to the door for a second before he takes a hesitant step towards Jared. The tentacles twitch a little, start to unwind and move towards him and that stops him in his tracks again. Okay so maybe he's not as ready for this as he thought he was.

"So -" Jared frowns at his advancing extras and they stop dead, lay flat, suckers up, like they're showing their bellies.

And Peter needs to sack up. It's Jared. And if this is how Jared's gonna be now then Peter's gonna be okay with it. Kinda.

"Can I -?" Peter chances another step forward, stretches out his hand a little only to have it met by the tip of one of the tentacles, like it's reaching out to see what Peter feels like too. It's soft and, surprisingly, not slimy, warm as Jared. Peter gets a little braver, strokes his finger up over to circle the first sucker. He gets something like an electric shock, hits him deep and warm and okay that's more than a little weird. But not _bad_ weird.

Peter looks up then, sees Jared biting his lip in that way he does sometimes when he's - oh - 

And he's getting braver by the second, closer too, 'til he and Jared are almost toe to toe and then closer still 'til he can feel Jared's breath on his face.

"Peter -" 

Peter's not sure if Jared wants him closer or he's warning him to back off, just that he sounds breathless and the tentacles are moving. They're slow, as if to go any faster would spook Peter and Peter just stands there, lets them trace over his arms, down over his back and all the while Jared's looking at him like he can't quite believe it, his hands tight on Peter's hips.

"Can you feel what they're feeling?" And Jared nods then, puffs out a breath and offers a tiny smile. And if it's even half as good as Peter's feeling right now then Jared must be feeling fucking awesome.

It's like being a little high, over sensitive and on edge all at once, but without the need for snacks or the usual bullshit that makes perfect sense at the time, but very little after. Pleasantly buzzed and horny as all get out and he finds himself reaching for Jared, finds Jared doing the same and there's a second where Peter's brain tries a halt with ' _fucking tentacles!_ ' but he shuts that down as quick as it rears up and just kisses Jared, like he has no other choice but to kiss Jared.

He gets another jolt of something warm and really fucking pleasant then, right down low, steals his breath truth be told and it takes him a second to realize it's not Jared's hands that are on his back, but Jared's tentacles, slow and sure, up under his shirt and across his shoulder blades, down again to rest at the small of his back, slow maddening circles over his skin that call up heat and want so fierce his knees are gonna go out from under him any second.

Jared goes for Peter's belt as Peter tears at the buttons on his shirt and it's all too surreal and really fucking amazing when he's lifted up and turned and all but thrown on the bed behind them. And then Jared's all over him and it's too much and holy shit Peter wants more of it, can't help but arch his back to get closer, hands all over and in between them and he's so fucking close to losing it, it'd be stupid if he really gave a shit.

Jared pulls back then, knees pressed hard to the insides of Peter's thighs, looks down at him with that look of awe he sometimes gets and that Peter can't always bring himself to believe; like Peter's the center of Jared's universe and there's no way Peter deserves that.

"Wanna - fuck, Peter, you have no fucking idea how much I want to -" The tentacles are fluttering at Jared's sides now, impatient and Peter swears they've grown, gotten darker.

And Peter's not even gonna try to unwrap why that makes him want even more, why it has him nodding and twisting on the bed, one leg under the other to roll over on his front, ass in the air and his shoulders jammed into the pillows.

"Come on -" He looks back over his shoulder, eyes narrowing, daring Jared to back out now when there really can't be any going back.

"Oh fuck - yeah, okay -"

And then he's being pulled back, his ass resting in Jared's lap, feels heat and that low shock he's fast becoming addicted to at the insides of his thighs and tops of his arms, on the back of his neck and the small of his back, can't keep still even as Jared's hands grip his hips, pull him closer. It's maybe a second later than he knows without a doubt that he's gonna lose it, come untouched and he just lets it happen, lets himself go, trusts Jared to get him there.

*

Peter wakes up to Jared's tongue tracing circles on the small of his back. The bed's not a mess and it's just him and Jared and none of the 'extras' from before. As far as he can tell without looking and he's not sure he's ready for looking just yet.

"Mornin'." Jared's voice is muffled and sleepy and all Peter wants to do right now is kiss him stupid.

"Get up here." He reaches down under the comforter and grabs himself a handful of Jared's hair and yanks him up.

"Ow! Motherfucker!" And it's just Jared, hair a mess and pillow creases on his face and Peter doesn't wait another second, kisses him like they didn't just see each other the night before and morning breath be damned.

"What?" Jared frowns and then smiles and kisses Peter because sometimes that's all that Jared needs to do.

"Dude, we are never watching Pindy's anime tentacle porn before bed ever again."

 

/end

**Author's Note:**

> And thank you to Vic for taking one for the team and to Lori for tentacle enabling xx


End file.
